Interview Me

So Jen at Diary of a Loser recently got tagged with an online interview, and has spread the love out my way (at my request). The questions are thoughtful and interesting so I am more than game to have a go at them.

1.) Tell me about your favorite trip and why is it your favorite.
Wow this is a hard one. I have been very lucky to be able to travel a lot through my lifetime. My parents had me fairly late in their life, so by the time I was in their lives, they were pretty set up and I received the advantages of that. I've traveled throughout Asia and North America. I got to see the beautiful glaciers in Alaska when I was fifteen and the Harajuku district of Japan before Gwen Stefani made it an international hot spot. However, by far, my favourite trip would have to be my honeymoon trip to Italy. While the transport to and from Europe would have to be amongst the worst plane trips I have had to endure (ten hours beside a gargantuan, snoring, Italian grandmother is not my idea of fun), the rest of the trip made any other hardships worth it. Since my husband was born in Italy, he still has 95% of his family in the old country. We never once had to stay at a hotel and were welcomed everywhere we went which made a substantial difference in our trip. Being able to have that local view of the country really made a difference in our experience. We went to markets and festivals we would have never come upon. We visited abandoned archeological sites minutes away from where we stayed. I learned to chop wood, care for chickens, collect eggs and cook Itlian food, much of which I had never been exposed to as a city girl. When we needed time alone they gave it to us and when we had to figure out how to make arrangements to get here or there, the whole family made it their project. I got to see my husband be a hero (more on that later) by pushing his cousins to take the first step in fixing a family argument which had torn apart their parents (Ben's mother and her siblings) for almost a decade, an act that literally changed his widowed grandfathers outlook on life. And this trip was the best bonding exercise to solidify our marriage and the new family it had created as we worked together to navigate our way through areas we had both never been before and get through the tough stuff along the way.

2.) How did you and Ben meet and did you know right away you guys would marry one day?
Ben and I met through a common friend, Roxanne. Ben is a lower leg amputee and Roxanne had her arm amputated at the shoulder after a childhood battle with cancer. They met through the War Amputees of Canada's child amputee program and were longtime friends by the time I met Roxanne in my college theatre class. A few years after I had met Roxanne, I was invited to a dinner party she was holding with her roomate and a few of her friends. I came along with my then fiance, who we shall refer to as the dud. Back in those days I was still smoking, as was Ben who was also a guest, and since we were the only two smoking that night, we ended up on the back porch yakking and smoking for a majority of the party. The dud attempted to keep up with our conversation, but lets just say, he was intellectually a few paces behind our conversation that evening, and eventually left us to our conversation. Now that I think about it, it was probably the beginning of the end for that relationship, but it took two years for us to drag it out to the end after that. I left that night having made a new friend who I would inquire about, but never saw for a couple years after. Then almost two years to the day from the day we had met, we were both invited by Roxanne to a party at her place. By now, the dud and I had split and Ben was also single. When we met up at the party it was as if no time had passed. We spent hours talking again, but never really went anywhere with it, except to say that we should hook up and grab coffee "one of these days".

So this will start to answer part two of this question. While I thought he was cute, I had only broken up with the dud a few months previous to this night and was in the "I don't want the headache of a boyfriend" headspace. But he was so cool to talk to that I wanted to hang out with him again. So I started inviting him to hang out with our friends, and in this way I guess we started dating in a really guarded way. We went to parties, out for coffee and out to do all manner of stupid fun stuff, for about a month before he finally said that he was interested in dating me, and going out and doing something with me that didn't involve my friends. So we made a date to watch videos (it's so funny to use that word) at his place two nights later. We have rarely been apart for more than a day since then. So to answer the question did I know right away that we would marry, yes and no. I wasn't even thinking of dating him, but once I did, I knew enough about him that I knew I had met my match. When he asked me to marry him out of the blue a month and a half later(in the midst of a conversation with his sister, no ring, no planning, no thought), I said yes right away but told him not to bring it up again for at least another six months, which he did. We were married a year and a half after our first real date.

3.) If you had the opportunity to do something over, what would it be and why?
I hate to say this, but my wedding. I had a nice fancy big wedding, done the way we wanted it, but in the long run it was really for everyone else there. It was stressful to put together, even though I had almost thirteen months to plan it (Jen, you go girl, planning your wedding this quickly, this well!!) and I spent more money than I would have liked. Knowing what I know now, I would choose to go somewhere warm, and get married on a beach, with whichever of our friends and family who could afford it and wanted to join us - none would be fine too - and then hold a kickass reception at home, something fun but maybe not so fancy.

4.) It is said that no one our age has heros anymore, because there are so few heroic people to choose from. Do you have a hero? If so, who is it and why, and if not, why do you feel we are a hero-less generation?
I truly believe that we really do need heroes, but there are whole generations that have lost touch with what a hero really is. We forget that historically a hero is someone that is good and noble. All too often these days a hero ends up being the richest or hottest (a word that is all too subjective). My heroes are intelligent people, no matter who they are or what their circumstances, who use their intelligence wisely to care for themselves, their families and those around them. My heroes are the people that go out of their way to help others. My heroes are the people that have overcome adverse circumstances in their life and have concentrated on what they have and how they can use it instead of worrying about percieved flaws. My hero is my friend Roxanne, who fought cancer, learned how she needed to live to incorporate her amputation into her life and lives a life of giving to others through her work. My hero is my husband who has taken his disability and used it as a reason to go balls to the wall every day, showing me that I too am worth the time to strive for my goals, and who has created an environment for me to strive for whatever makes me happy. My hero is my highschool teacher Mr. Kozak who strived to make everything he tought relevant to his students, injected music into the lives of those around him and has instilled in his own children the need to give back to their community.

5.) Chocolate or caramel?
Why such seperation of the two? What's with the "or"? I beleive that the word you were looking for is "and"! Preferably in a bar form or drizzeled in coffee or on ice cream. Oooh and on apples too!

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So, to quote Jen who quoted Gillian who quoted Frema:

If my answers didn’t put you to sleep, read on to see how you can score your own rockstar interview.

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

And that's it. Hope you enjoy my answers.